Let me start by saying that if you are struggling with depression and feelings of hopelessness as symptoms of your mold illness, you are not alone. You are not crazy. Depression, anger, fear, feeling trapped, desperate, and helpless are all very real and very well-documented (now) symptoms of mold-related illness.
One of the first and most difficult symptoms of being exposed to mold for me was the sudden onset of anxiety and depression. My anxiety levels soared and my ability to deal with life’s ups and downs plummeted. I went from being a smooth-sailing, up-for-anything, laid-back woman, to an unstable, nervous, neurotic, worried wreck. I would literally worry myself into physical exhaustion, almost feeling haunted by my fears that something was going on in my body that I just didn’t understand and no one could figure out or help me with. It was humiliating to not be able to physically prevail in athletics anymore or depend on my body and depressing to always be or feel sick. I also felt out-of-control and like I was failing as a Mom, because my son was struggling with sensory processing issues and frequent ear infections, and caring for my daughter, a sweet baby girl at the time, left me totally depleted and completely exhausted. I was not in a good place physically or psychologically. And, as many of us do when things seem to be “all in our heads,” we blame ourselves, which makes the problem worse.